Sunday, 25 January 2009


2000 and 9's major musical happening seems to be the 'donk' phenomenon. The few tracks that I've heard, but in particular Blackout Crew's 'Put a donk on it', are the sonic equivalent of inhaling a turd; some of this shit will stay with you for life. I recommend you think twice before clicking these links, but either way expect it to soundtrack your bus ride soon.

A far less interesting development is the news that we've finally pulled our finger out and organised a New Ears curated event. We're excited to announce that we'll have one of our favourite new bands, psychedelic post punkers O. Children, headlining on Saturday 21 March 2009. Support comes in the form of four of Manchester's latest and greatest bands: Citizens, May 68, Egyptian Hip Hop and Sir Yes Sir.

Providing the cherry on top of our musical cupcake will be our very own Esqueezy dropping heavy bass till late..
.all for just four of your English pounds and completely donk free.

O. Children - 'Ezekiel's son'(demo).mp3

Words: SS

Saturday, 17 January 2009

Dispatches from the West Coast - pt. 2

Simon L of Teeth!!! was kind enough to share a diary of the band's tour of the West Coast with us, the first part of which can be found here. Below Simon fills us in on Christmas, his holiday romance and hanging with faeries...

Day 5

I’ve not done much apart from sleep off my hangover...I met Yutaro from work, we took a bus down to the Super 8 Motel and booked a room. We hungout in the room forever spoke about past-lives (not the band) and watched cartoons, drank beer and ate Pringles. It was the romance. We saw Snoop Dogg drive past us just as the sun was going down.

Day 6
Checked out late. Me & Yutaro hung out forever, we were gonna go to Mustashe Mondays (the place where teeth will play first week in Jan), but we got stuck watching ‘Paris Is Burning’. Then a bunch of peeps came over. It’s so weird when you meet someone you like, at the same time it’s a hellofa rebound relationship as both him and myself are recently heartbroken. It almost as if both of us are holding back. Maybe just me. Or maybe we have nothing to say to each other or maybe he’s a dork!!

Day 7
Me and Oskar (from Sister Mantos) went hiking in the hills. I saw the whole of LA. It’s big. I also found out that Berlin is L.A.’s twined city, which is amazing!!! As me and Dolby Anol are planning on moving there over the summer. I like the sound of summer in Berlin and winter in L.A., that would be the sweetest little shit. That afternoon we had a meeting with some guy from Universal Records, a guy in a suit. We saw Kayne West in reception with a mass meat head.

We got invited to dinner with this famous photographer guy who is Prince’s tour photographer. We sat and ate and then went back to his and watched this awesome dance movie with my friend Ryan Heffington - this amazing dancer that has worked with Peaches, Fischerspooner and some other famous peeps. After that I came home and passed out.

Day 8
Made some jams then went out to a house party with Yutaro. It was snoresville. Although the Prince photographer was there amongst some stuck up Japanese people. Went home slept.

Day 9 - Xmas Day!
The day started sooo nice!!! Yutaro stayed at mine, I walked him to the bus stop in the LA sunrise it was raining warm rain we had a red umbrella, I told him that I was properly gonna miss him, he said, "you build a sand castle and the sea washes it away" so true, but it sucks. We were invited to spend Xmas with Austin’s parents (Ryan’s bf). It was the gayest Christmas ever; we listened to Madonna’s Immaculate Collection over dinner.

Day 10
Coffee/Rebecca - DVDs for the tour - Prince DVD photo shoot - Discussed jams for Mustache Mondays.

Day 11
Drive to San Francisco (SF) – Seals - Sunset - Brain Eno – Tears -Oakland party -Sexy Prison, still together!!! - Numbers broke up - Sleeping on pissy couches.

Day 12
PDX [Portland] BABES!!!!!! - Veronica late - long drive - Erase Errata dream – snow - long roads – tired.

Day 13 - video

Day 14

Day 15 - video

Day 16 [NYE] - video

Day 17
We set out on the long drive back to SF to drop Veronica off. On the way back we decided to stop over at Wolf Creek, a radical faerie community near the border of California/Oregon. We arrive just before sun down and go and get acquainted with our loving fearie family. First we meet Cloud, Earthern and Willow (for realz) and then went and smoked a chilum in Earthern’s place and listened to his new music he's been making. THE MOST AWSOME ITALO DISCO!!! Then Simon and Oskar ate some hash cookies and tripped out, we then went and had a free jam in the barn, where we slept under shrines of dead drag queens. No joke.

Day 18
We left early from Wolf Creek and headed back to SF, Veronica had to be home in time for dinner, which we just made. By now everyone needed breaks from each other. I managed to arrange a hook up that we could stay and hangout at Eats Tapes’ house. Marijke and Greg are the most friendly awesome, homely people ever!!! When we arrive they had made the best vegan food and beers. We chilled for a while and then went down to the infamous El Rio (where Jenny from Erase Errata works) and grabbed a beer. Then went home and sleeeeeeeepppttttt.

Day 19
I decided to stay in SF and hangout with ET for another night whilst Oskar and the peeps went back to LA. In the morning we went bike riding around SF, went up to the viewing tower in some park. Then we went and got coffee and got all physic and shit. I think Majike is one of the most awesome people ever. Then we came home and got ready to go over to Evans’ house to make food and get drunk. Evans is so rad!!! We made food, ate, drank lots. Then we went out down to Castro gay bars, and on to the afterhours. Marjike split beer all over the cab and then the bouncer at the club was a complete asshole and wouldn’t let her in. So we ended up back at Evans’, drunk and smelly.

Day 20
Today we woke and got breakfast, I feel so fucked up. Me, Marike & Evans are gonna start a new club in SF & London called FJARTS which continues mine and Markjke’s obsession with poop. We’re also gonna record a theme tune and have live Skype casts. We walked around to Aquarius records and listened to Sparks. M&E are thinking about coming to L.A. to perform with us at The Smell on Friday. That would be rad. Teeth!!! have been invited to perform on college radio which is exciting. I might head back to SF after the shows with Teeth!!!

Wednesday, 7 January 2009

Esqueezy Explains It All: The Best (and worst) of 2008


Shitting hell is it really Now 71? Which frankly, makes me feel a pretty similar age. They were only on Now 38 when I used to make peadophiles dreams come true and make up dance movies in my smalls. I was always diggin the hum-diggin estacy pill music they whacked on the bottom of disc 2. Bit of a shitemare when your mum got hold of it and started whistling Ultra Nate at the breakfast table. Starting your day like that can have you poking out your eyes by lunchtime. Any mum who desperately tries to be bang on their daughter's wavelength and possibly her 'bff' is in a dark place. They hang out in American Apparel fitting rooms with flappy bingo wings/brown paper bag thighs modelling lamé gold hot pants asking - "Do I look good in this?" For real...?

There have been several movers and shakers in the big bad game this year – be it through the back door or washed up on the not-so-welcome mat (with very many being via dick in mouth/flash of boob). Here’s a handful that have caught my attention especially -

Mr. Vegas has retired. I found this fond farewell on my internet travels –

“Thank everybody weh believe inna mi and help mi fi do 11 years inna music even when everybody else a try stop mi. But mi main thing is to be closer to God Almighty an spend more time with mi kids”.

It tickled me because a) of the way its been typed up and, b) it’s about two words off sounding like a suicide note. Combine both those pointers together and you got one weird suicide note. Dark. Mr Vegas was the shit. I’ll miss him – but I don’t reckon much of the homosexual population will.

Lady Sovereign’s
made a comeback – after her apparent unhealthy relationship with the bottle. Join the club love – but how often did you a) bar brawl... b) puke on the Magic Bus.... c) eat stinking kebabs most probably made of donkey testicles? I like Sov’s edge, but I have to say she’s had some sort of ‘revamp’ – and I think the stylist may well have been blind. Sov has got to have a side ponytail and boy's garms to truly be Sov. Instead she’s been injected with curls and then somebody puked up black paint in her wardrobe and smudged some round her eyes. I suppose her upcoming album will be the ultimate judge of it.

The Cool Kids
have made upwards movements in 2008. I remember a Black Mags refix back in 07 with Sweet Dreams and from then on it was whoa, whoa and more whoa. I know it’s that scenester/hipster hip-hop or whatever but I actually think it’s healthy, it’s ‘fun’. I think the same can be said for Wale. Definitely some of the things Esqueezy, the self-proclaimed cynic, would like to see develop further in 09.


Uffie, queen of the scenesters, went crazy in 2008.

Check her in bed with Cobrasnake, Jeremy Scott and her new ‘fiancĂ©’, Andre (a French graffiti head), looking like she’s about to pass out on that shit load of Rohypnol they just fed her. Poor vulnerable not-so-innocent Uffie.

THE clubnight of ’08 was Contort Yourself. Without a doubt. Sometimes the acts totally aren’t my cup of Tetley but I still very much enjoy myself. It’s not solely because I get plied with free beer – it’s because the atmosphere is mellow but party party at the same time. Hard to describe but yeah, special. Plus one week you could be watching Vice’s particular flavour of the week guitar/synth quartet and the next you’re slap bang infront of Buraka son Sistema. Caters for everyone – and doesn’t particularly clutch at any sort of scene/musical fad. Big up the boys and check ‘em bi-weekly at the Roadhouse in ’09 with promising acts such as Rico Tubbs on the roster.

Still not convinced? Human Man/Ben Contort has provided a super special sellotaping of songs for your aural pleasure. Follow link below...

Contort Yourself Mixtape Volume 1 by Human Man (Z-Share)

And with that I draw to an end a very bitchy 2008! Let’s hope 2009 is just as juicy. Ciao.

Words: Esqueezy